headstone inscription

Poring over poems, quotes, phrases. Trying to find something that speaks to me for an inscription on the back of Oliver’s headstone.

Fuck this. I can’t believe this is what I’m doing right now. I want to be kissing his cheeks, and changing his diaper, and lamenting about how much laundry I have to do because of his reflux.

Google searches for things like “infant headstone inscriptions” and “infant headstones” are so ridiculously painful, unfair, and miserable.

I miss him. I feel it in my heart. My clenched stomach. I want him back.

Oliver 060316

Author: unaffected

Infertile mother to a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old twinless twin. Surviving motherhood after infant loss.

4 thoughts on “headstone inscription”

  1. There’s a line at the end of a book by Nancy Tillman that comes to mind, and I shared it with a member of my mom group who tragically lost her baby girl: “You are my angel, my darling, my star…and my love will find you, wherever you are.”

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  2. Not fair, not fair, not fair. My heart is aching for you and your family right now. He’s beautiful and YES, you should be kissing his cheeks and changing his diapers. There’s no rhyme or reason for this.

    Like

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